A Manifesto: It Starts with Relationship!

When we are first hired at OTA, each of us are given the Employee Handbook. On the first page of the handbook is a letter from the CEO Eyal Shahar, welcoming us to the Online Trading Academy family and sharing some of the company’s values–passion, innovation, collaboration, respect and trustworthiness. 

And “We do it with love!” writes Eyal.

I have thought a lot about this statement–we do it with love–and what it means exactly at home, in the office, in our communities and around the world. In fact, Eyal’s five words were the inspiration of the title of this culture website-Whole LOTA Love.

After thinking about Eyals’ words and combining my knowledge of psychology (I am a therapist), and the human heart, I came up with the following “manifesto” for positive working relationships. It's a manifesto of promoting the well-being “of” the other, and a connection “with” the other in the work place and beyond. These are the fundamental elements of what the Greeks call agape love; love that is universal, unconditional and transcends circumstance, something desperately needed in our world today. 

A Manifesto for Positive Working Relationships  

The core of relationship is based on respect.

When we respect someone (a colleague, student, friend) and have faith in their abilities, they in turn respect and have faith in theirs.

Believe in each others enormous potential.

People are typically bigger than they appear.

Be accepting and caring. Do not contaminate your caring with good verses bad.

There is no black and white. There is no if and then; us and them.

Only unconditional positive regard.

Be empathetic. Sense the person’s feelings as if they were your own. Empathy is the most powerful of human abilities.

Be understanding, open, genuine, and real.

Express compassion – especially in times of need.

Help in practical ways such as taking a colleague’s tasks when a child is sick at home or a parent is in the hospital.

And be present. Always present – immersed in the other and what they have to say.

Stay alert.

Genuinely listen.

Communicate effectively.

Create a safe space for each other to take risks and explore to the moon and back.

Be their rocket ship.

And provide a supportive structure where one can land.

Do not control. But do speak out when necessary.

Responsibility should be shared.

Be open to change.

Be warm and supportive.

And be patient.

If a person is pushing your patience.

Be patient some more.

We have the power to invent our relationships. So invent your relationships.

Have clear boundaries.

Exchange ideas.

Talk. Dialogue is a meeting place between people.

Avoid arguing.

Maintain some level of objectivity.

Do not take a confrontational stance.

Instead, take a “carefrontational” approach.

Pay attention to the here and now; the I and Thou.

Celebrate together over personal and/or professional achievements.

Grieve together when faced with loss. Always express affection, caring, compassion, and tenderness towards each other and yourself.

Be tolerant.

Accept differences.

Do not get stuck in linear and rigid ways of being.

Keep an open mindset.

There is not one single right way.

Avoid judgment.

Be suspicious of assumptions of how the world appears to be.

Identify your blind spots, your biases, bigotries, “top dog” critical parent, and “under dog” vulnerabilities.

And integrate the two.

Or learn to live with such polarities.

Do not expect perfection; from other’s or from yourself.

We will make mistakes – for we are human and fallible at times.

We may never be completely free of ourselves and issues in our lives,

but we can become aware of these matters and how they influence our lives and our work.

Accept your limitations.

Accept other’s limitations.

And be authentic.

Because when we are honest, genuine, and authentic, we open a space for other’s to be honest, genuine, and authentic too.

Live in accordance with what you profess.

Walk the talk.

Be a good role model.

Be yourself and bring your “self” to everything that you do.

And learn the art of transparency.

Share your stories when appropriate. Do not share when it is not appropriate. Know the difference.

Caution is necessary. Discretion and sensitivity advised.

If you are overly guarded, others around you will be guarded.

Let your walls down, and they will let their walls down too.

Be vulnerable!

Vulnerability is not weakness. As Brene Brown says, “…it’s the bravest thing you will ever do.”

Be brave!

And love!

Love with all your heart. Love like Moses, Jesus, Mohammad and Buddha combined.

With love come awareness and choice.

Choice leads to change.

And change leads to growth and transformation!

I hope you found this helpful. Of course, there is more. This is one list of many. Take what you want and leave the rest.

With A Whole LOTA Love

Deanne